


Bone Rakshasa

by Lemonsqueeze13



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:13:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemonsqueeze13/pseuds/Lemonsqueeze13
Summary: AU/SI. With clear Otsutsuki lineage, and considered by Orochimaru to be the ideal body beyond even the Uchiha - Kimimaro Kaguya was pure untapped potential. Now, through the path of reincarnation, I would live Orochimaru's dream. Alongside old faces given new fates to match their promise.
Relationships: Haku & Kimimaro (Naruto), Jiraiya & Uzumaki Naruto, Pakura & Kimimaro (Naruto)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1 - Bone Identity

**Chapter 1 - Bone Identity**

* * *

The Land of water was a miserable place, one half of the year tropical storms ravage the lands and seasonal floods tear through the undergrowth. On those rare days where the rains wouldn't leave you drenched, The cloying humidity would leave you soaked instead. The other half of the year was arguably worse, where a maze of mist would leave you blind and trapped in a quagmire.

Given that I was made to live in a cage, practically out in the open, my intimate relationship with the weather probably formed a bias against the region. This was a far cry from the 21st century comforts that I was used to, six years in my new reality had not changed that in the slightest.

A swift kick rattled the cage and shook me from my inner monologue. "Sleep time's over monster."

"My name is Kimimaro."

"Feh" she hawked a fat wad of spit at my feet, "a monster is a monster, it doesn't need any names! Now get out. You should count yourself lucky for this luxury, every meal down your throat and every minute spent training you is a waste."

I stared at her for a moment, there was that distinct zigzag hairline and the short dotty eyebrows indicative of our clan. But, her eyes were a little too wide and hyper-focused; the kind of expression that most would politely call batshit insane.

"Trying to beat me to death everyday is training?" The bloody mist had an odd way of nurturing their shinobi, the Kaguya clan exemplified the needlessly barbaric approach most of all.

"No one's gonna complain if you die. So, as long as you're alive we might as well get some use out of a monster like you." My eyes fell on the, frankly, flimsy little cage she had me in. Even with my basic control of the Shikotsumyaku, I'd slice her head off before she'd be able to do anything. And she made it just so tempting to follow through on that line of thought.

Yet, needs must. The shinobi world is a maze that leads to supreme power; and I have a map.

"What do you want from me anyway? There's no food, and you're not my trainer."

"You're going to prove your worth. That mad Kage Yagura's time is officially over! The glorious Kaguya clan will massacre that accursed fiend and all his little followers. And we will once more take our place as the rulers of the Hidden Mist." Her eyes were on the verge of popping out of her skull during her zealotry.

"You say that like we have a choice in the fight. There isn't another bloodline clan left besides us."

Her manic grin instantly fell; she ripped the cage door off the hinge and plunged her hand inside to grab me. "That's enough out of you! I'm not missing out on the slaughter any more than I've already had to because of you."

Her hand would touch nothing, in a burst of speed I appeared at the entrance of the cave. "What are you waiting for? Let's go."

* * *

The world was burning around me; and by world I specifically mean the Kaguya estate, because the entire kamikaze Kaguya squad barely made it out of the compound before we were ambushed by an army of Kiri hunter-nin.

The Kaguya clan - including all women and children - totaled nearly forty insane screamers. Kiri doubled down on that number. The children and the elderly went down first, and went down fast; the chuunin class fodder Yagura sent proved far too lethal for them. That's not to say it was a bloodless massacre on Kiri's side.

The older Kaguyas were having a fair go at it, it wasn't a massive ninjutsu battle by any means, but the taijutsu and bukijutsu on display was brutal to the extreme.

The Kaguya clearly weren't suited to being a clan of shinobi. Where the hunter nin preferred quick, efficient killshots, my clan went all in. Our naturally powerful bodies and much larger chakra pools allowed for a far more showy fighting style. If you're suiton jutsu wasn't taking out five shinobi and your own house with it - you weren't fighting like a Kaguya.

Not that I could really emulate just yet. I was six for Kage's sake. I had no jutsu, no weapons, no reach, no nothing. What I did have however was the Shikotsumyaku.

A pair of chuunin broke away from the rest of my flailing clansmen. Probably a prudent decision on their part, considering the bisected chuunin at my tiny little feet. "Dance of the Yucca." Thin, razor sharp plates of bone formed from my shins, the outside of my forearms, and from the first knuckles of each hand.

The first one brandished his sword and sped towards me. He struck from overhead with full force, I swung my fist in kind. The edge of the steel met the bone plate of my knuckles, and to his surprise the sword shattered on contact.

Capitalizing on the opportunity, I leapt and swung my bone enhanced leg at their head. The chuunin grabbed it and screamed as the sharp edge cut deep into their hand. Twisting my torso, my forearm aimed once more at his head. Now aware of the inherent danger direct contact with my body posed, the chuunin blocked it with the broken sword's hilt. Their superior strength held true, but I wasn't done. I clasped the hilt within the crook of my arm, my elbow lined up square with their face, "Dance of the Wisteria." Four sharp, arrowhead shaped bone projectiles shot out and sunk deep into the chuunin's head. Death was instant.

"Suiton - Mizurappa!" The other shinobi used the shunshin to appear beside the corpse and I. I used the dead one to shield myself from the strong blast of water.

My meat shield dampened the initial impact of the jutsu, but the force sent us careening into the swamp behind.

I was ploughed through a tree before crashing with splash into a shallow pool of bog water. My utter lack of any real chakra control ensured I would find no purchase on the surface of the puddle, and instead found myself knee deep in it.

Visibility under the canopy wasn't great, and the thick chakra laced mist billowing in didn't improve the situation. The hidden mist jutsu.

"Fresh from your mother's breast and already slaughtering to your heart's content. You bloodline freaks are a stain on this land." Their voice echoed through the clearing. "Any last words, little beast?" Was suddenly whispered into my ear, while a kunai was jabbed into my jugular.

Too bad the steel found bone rather than blood. "Yeah. Dance of the Larch." Jagged pikes of bone bloomed, ripping through my flesh and impaling the hunter-nin. With a final gurgle the figure went limp.

I let the bones snap off my body, the still skewered shinobi fell back as I too collapsed into the puddle beneath me. All the Shikotsumyaku techniques were very chakra intensive, and my complete lack of any chakra control or training meant I had to spend far, far more than was really necessary to pull off the techniques. But it just went to show just how much potential the Kaguya bloodline and body has.

With his death, the hidden mist jutsu fell, letting the surroundings become visible once more. I gazed past the foliage and saw the pyre that once used to be the Kaguya clan compound. It was quite a distance away now, clearly the suiton jutsu I had been hit with launched me farther away than I thought.

This was the perfect chance to make my escape.

I scavenged what I could from the shinobi I'd killed; a few scrolls, bandages, anything I could carry really. I replaced my own shirt with the haori from the first ninja I'd killed of the pair. It was completely drenched and reached my knees, but it certainly beat holes and blood.

I made my way deeper into the marshlands. This battle proved that I am severely deficient, and am in desperate need of formal instruction. Naruto and that entire generation had likely been born recently or were about to arrive imminently; that left me with a mere thirteen years till canon kicked off. Time necessary to ascend to the Kage level at the very least.

And only an S-rank ninja could really make another. No average flunky would do. Good thing I knew just where to find one of my very own.

* * *

Dance of the -

 **Yucca** : are succulents with razor-like stiff, stemless leaves.

 **Wisteria** : have seed pods that launch their seeds when they explode.

 **Larch** : have leaves characterized by their sharp needle-like leaves.


	2. Marrow Minded Focus

* * *

She was younger than I thought she'd be. Maybe around Kakashi's age? Most likely just slightly younger. It was really quite remarkable that she'd surpassed him despite that.

More importantly, that was without the benefit of the game-breaking sharingan, or any other brand of overpowered shinobi lineage to back her up. Purely her own dedication to the craft; that's not to say that she didn't possess her own special quality that aided her ascension. Like me, she had her own unique kekkei genkai.

Yet, even with her S-class pedigree she was no match for me. She could do nothing to enforce her malice, but glare at me - paralyzed as she was from the neck down. I approached her cautiously, steel gripped tight in my hand. She gave a futile attempt to dodge it; I had no mercy to give.

"Here comes the kunai, open up little kunoichi." She opened her mouth and I quickly shoved the spoon inside before she could change her mind.

Her face contorted in disgust at the bitter taste. The antidote to the poison affecting her was extremely unpleasant. "Blech! I don't know why you need my training, you're already a T&I expert as far as I'm concerned."

"C'mon, don't be like that. According to the notes, you should be right as rain after two more doses."

"I'd rather starve to death in this godforsaken swamp. You should have left me to rot like the rest of them did." She spat with the same bitterness as the medicine she just swallowed.

"You mustn't be shy. I merely did my duty as your bonafide pupil when I rescued you from the jaws of defeat."

"Duty my butt. I'd never met you before in my life."

"You were always going to be my teacher, you just didn't know it until now."

It had been a week since she'd entered my care. On death's door with only a child as her oncall physician, somehow still managing to pull through. I guess the old adage ' _shinobi endure'_ was an apt one; but this shinobi could hold one hell of a grudge too.

Even in the short time I'd known her, there was no doubt that Pakura of the scorch release would take her pound of flesh from Suna.

Following my escape from the Kaguya slaughter, I bumbled my way over to the area surrounding the Hidden Mist Village proper. The local shinobi had grown bold and lazy during Yagura's - or rather Obito's - tyrannical rule. Confident in their superiority over the fractured remains of any bloodline stragglers, they often conducted themselves far less covertly than they ought to have; this made it easy to spot when any major events were taking place.

So, when a single Suna shinobi arrives alone into the village and leaves with an entire battle-ready squadron of Kiri ninja, it's impossible to not take notice. My plan was a winner.

I couldn't keep up with shinobi going flat out, but the trail of bodies, destroyed puppets, molten slag, and all around general aftermath led me to where I needed to be.

I kept as hidden as I could the closer I got to the epicenter. The fight had only just ended, for there wasn't any noise of battle; all I could hear was the raged screams of a woman as she cursed her _ungrateful, traitorous, dust bowl of a village,_ and even more acerbically _that pathetic, limp-dicked, megalomaniac Rasa._

I'd like to say I intervened and single-handedly defeated an entire squad by myself, but truth be told, Pakura had pretty much decimated the entire battalion herself. Looking around the clearing all I could see were the mummified husks of Suna and Kiri shinobi alike - the marshland was relegated to being an arid wasteland. One lone, severely charred Suna shinobi stood above Pakura's paralyzed form - sword dripping in some mysterious purple ooze.

With the racket Pakura was causing, and his own ragged breath, he didn't notice the bone spear I'd launched from my palm shooting straight through his skull.

I pilfered what I could from him; unsurprisingly he had the antidote to his own poison on hand. Finally dragging away my new sensei to convalesce at my makeshift hideout.

She wouldn't speak for the first couple of days, I was unaware whether that was the poison or the realization that the nation she had arduously dedicated her entire life to wanted her dead, but I soldiered on regardless.

Every moment I wasn't nursing her or making sure we were fed, I spent talking at her - mostly sharing my own little sob story. I guess the combination of the betrayal and my constant monologues proved effective as it didn't take long to break her down.

A lot of relentless pestering later, I hit her with a "Our homes abandoned the both of us, so let's stay abandoned together." And she agreed to teach me. Talk no jutsu was considered S-class and forbidden for a very good reason.

Soon enough the antidote did it's job and the poison was expunged from her system. We'd had to stay far too near to the Hidden Mist so the first thing she did was toss me over her shoulder and dashed for the border to the nearest minor nation.

* * *

The Land of Sea was where we found ourselves currently. And let me say it is damn sight better than Kiri.

I followed along to her set of stretches, we'd ditched most of the shinobi paraphernalia, choosing to look far more civilian to stay away from too much notice. But you'd best believe Pakura kept her Suna headband stashed away with a nice deep slash right across the symbol.

We rose up and exhaled. "Ready to start?"

Smashing my fists together I respond, "with every bone in my body."

"I still struggle to understand why you're so adamant that _I specifically_ must train you." She went around the clearing and touch cast a barrier seal to keep us discreet. "In all honesty, barring Kiri and Suna, you could announce yourself at any major shinobi village and they'd be tripping over themselves to have you."

"Sure. But if I did that they'd make me get an estate, train me safely within their walls till I was strong enough to handle myself, and then when I become of age throw a dozen women at me to procreate my bloodline."

"Yes… what a tragedy."

"See? You get it. Plus I refuse to be saddled with some no-name Nakamura as my shisho and to be beholden to anyone but myself. I'm Kimimaro Kaguya, I'll only let the best train me."

She got a cocky smirk at that and crossed her arms over her chest. Though I'd only call Pakura's a chest if most other girls had jewelry boxes. "Well I can't blame you for that. I _am_ pretty great after all. And I guess there's a certain charm that comes with the freedom to pursue your own growth as you see fit - especially with a dedicated Kage class shinobi."

"What are you gonna teach me then?"

"Well my specialty is my nature release ninjutsu, though I'm proficient with fuinjutsu as well. However, the cornerstone of every powerful warrior is always going to be chakra control and taijutsu - both of these principles will also heavily benefit the shikotsumyaku."

"What about my nature release? The bone stuff I know I'm going to have to figure out myself."

"Hmm… that's a little tough. No way we're going to be able to get chakra paper to test it. Too heavily regulated by the ninja villages. You're from Mizu no Kuni, so chances are that even if it's not you're primary release, suiton is probably a safe bet to learn."

"You can use suiton too?"

"Not really, but it was highly coveted in Suna so every Jounin knows the nature control steps and a handful of jutsu to teach it just in case. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Basics first."

She plucked two leaves off a bush and using one hand pressed them just above my brows. "I'm using chakra to stick these to you. I want you to sense how I'm using my chakra and copy it."

I closed my eyes and focused, I felt two dots of heat on my forehead and using my own chakra imitated the pulling force of Pakura's chakra.

I heard her clothes shift, I opened my eyes and saw her hands move back to her sides. The leaves were still on my head.

"Feel like you got it?"

I smiled at her, "You bet!"

She returned the gesture. Then punched me hard, right in the face. She broke my nose, my concentration, and as I crashed into it a nice big boulder too.

I quickly peeled myself off the rock and gaped at her like an idiot. She merely raised and eyebrow and pointed at the two leaves on the ground. "I thought you said you had it? Are you gonna be able to train properly, or do I have to start babying you?"

Hearing this, my expression slowly shifted into what I felt was a happy one; Pakura assured me later however that I looked certifiably insane. I rushed back to the leaves, smacked them back on my forehead and launched myself at her. "That's what I'm talking about sensei!"

* * *

Current Timeline: 10 TC (Till Canon)

Kimimaro ~ 7 years old

Pakura ~ 17 years old

Naruto ~ 2 years old


	3. I'm No Fat. I'm Big-Boned

**Chapter 3 - I'm not fat, I'm big-boned.**

* * *

The Kaguya are ill suited to being shinobi; I've said it before and I'll do so again. There was something about us. No, we should have been samurai instead - specifically the kind that refused the suffocating yoke of any and all masters. Only a few coins and their own fate in their hands. Ronin - the kind of warrior with truly great and lasting tales.

In this moment I genuinely felt like one, my jacket slung over my shoulders, an apathetic expression on my face, I was even doing that thing where I don't wear one sleeve of my kimono and instead hang my arm loosely by my chest - like any true world-weary vagabond ought to. I felt _cool._

Though that might also be because I was frightfully underdressed for the bone-chilling temperatures of the Land of Snow.

Pakura too was enjoying the brisk weather. "I'm freezing my balls off in this godforsaken iceberg of a country! See if I ever return." She was decked out in the thickest jacket we could find in all the elemental nations, with a full complement of mufflers and mittens yet still she'd complain.

Though, again, that was likely because we were forced to trudge through hip deep snow rather than surface walking like civilized chakra users should.

Unfortunately for us, we were on a completely flat open, stark white plain and we're about the only visible thing for leagues. Our target was camouflaged, entrenched, and could spot us a mile away. We had to be careful.

This was one thing the fairy tales don't tell you about being a rogue ninja. You had to be entirely responsible for your own financial well-being. Unless one chose to resort to common banditry, the only means for a missing-nin to make their way in the world was through bounties and the sort of missions that shinobi villages shunned for their political implications - or they plain weren't worth it.

"If it weren't for the fat purse on offer, I'd toss this mission in the damn fire. Can't believe even Daimyos these days need to resort to bounties." Pakura continued.

"Considering the Daimyo is facing a coup from his own brother, they're probably both equally insufferable. The villages are probably just gonna let the situation handle itself and just take advantage of whoever comes out on top. Either way, good for us. We can just nab the payout and head to Hot Water - that'll suit you more sensei."

"And you can bet every last ryo you have that I'm only going to settle for the best suite with its own attached onsen. None of that sharing bath nonsense." She continued to grumble.

The wind shifted, the crisp breeze shoo'd away by the stench of unwashed rebellion. We stopped, spotting the camp a little ways off.

"Almost there. Let's reconfirm mission parameters." She prompted.

"Target is Doto Kazahana. B-Rank Jounin and brother of the Land of Snow's Daimyo - who himself is financing our hit because." I recited.

She sniffed a little, her nose was bright red and runny from the cold. "Mhm. And what do we say about shinobi rankings?"

"Don't call yourself a ninja unless you're A class or above. D, C, and B class stand for decomposing, corpse, and body waiting to happen."

"Good. And what makes this body waiting to happen think he's special?"

"Bingo book and client intel have stated he has some sort of special chakra armour that neutralizes ninjutsu, genjutsu, and is capable of tanking a certain level of strength. Apparently target can also utilize the Ice release."

Pakura merely scoffed at the idea. "Ice release? Please. The Yuki have ice release; this guy can manipulate a little snow with his chakra and suddenly everyone thinks he's going to start jumping from ice mirrors."

"It's ok sensei, I'll give him the appropriate corpse class distinction soon enough."

"You better, I want us done and dusted here immediately. The hot springs are calling my name."

I began divesting all the clothes from my upper torso, leaving me topless. I handed Pakura who sealed it away in a scroll. "If you want this done quickly you could let me use more than just taijutsu and nature manipulation."

"Denied. This is part of your training. You need to build up your baseline and not rely on chakra enhancement or your bloodline."

"If I can't use the shikotsumyaku, why do I have to take my clothes off? It's cold, my nipples are doing the _dance of the cactus_ out here."

"You act like you always listen to me. Now turn around, I need to make sure the pressure seal is alright." I did as requested without further hindrance. The pressure seal was the ultimate restriction training seal that Pakura knew. Satisfied with the ink black artwork all the way down my spine she asked, "looking good, how's it feel?"

"My chakra feels like molasses and about as malleable as granite. My coils are tight and uncomfortable. My entire body feels like I'm submerged underwater with a small mountain strapped to me." I recounted the intended effects of the seal. "All in all, every moment is exquisite agony." …Pakura's training _may_ be awakening something in me.

"Then it's doing its job. Leave it on for the fight."

We flexed our chakra simultaneously, six bright orbs of scorch energy formed behind her with one hand sign. Immediately the camp rose on alarm at our hostile intrusion. Startled shinobi came streaming out towards our direction.

Doto Kazahana was in lead. Perfect.

"You focus on primary, I'll eradicate the rabble." She grabbed two of the orbs in each palm, in a show of masterful shape manipulation the balls were now one long spear with flaming ends. She'd picked up the trick after needing to keep distance in our taijutsu spars. And with that she blitzed the attacking shinobi, leaving Doto standing all alone.

Clearly he didn't consider me any sort of threat, he turned his back to me - his focus on his rapidly mummifying comrades.

He couldn't finish taking a single step forward, I was there in his path in an instant. And as promised, no chakra, no jutsu, pure speed.

"Outta my way you!" He threw a punch, the nozzles on his elbows blasting chakra and propelling his fist down at me. I hopped up on it, planted my foot on his face and launched him away with a single kick.

He righted himself quickly, his nose was twisted and pouring blood. He stained his fingers with it in disbelief - which quickly turned to anger. "Oh, I'm gonna make you regret that!"

"How? You gonna bleed on me?"

Cue generic inarticulate bellow of indignation. More nozzles fired chakra, he surfed on the snow at a pace I'm sure he considered blistering. More compartments opened up from his armour, shooting out kunai while he swerved and strafed to get at me from as many angles as possible.

I could have dodged, but I wanted to force his hand and make him get serious. Pakura was right; he deserves corpse rating.

I let every single kunai hit me. Not a drop of blood. Even as he retreated in reverse, his face showed morbid fascination. His lazy little attack wasn't nearly enough to pierce my subdermal armour. And as I stood there like a large porcupine, I reflected that Pakura was right again for making me take my shirt off. That's why she's the sensei.

"What kind of monster are you?"

"A better one than you."

He'd backed off a reasonable distance and begun weaving hand signs. An absolutely massive horned whale made from the surrounding snow breached the sky above us, ready to flop down on me and crush me. _Hyoton: White Whale._

It was a terribly slow jutsu, I had an eternity to respond. I formed a single ram seal, chakra roiled in my gut and I spat out a high pressure wave of water. The _Suiton: Suidanha_ sliced through the hyoton jutsu with disdainful ease - casually dispelling it.

He came rushing at me then, his armour blazing with all the chakra he could muster. I kept pace with him, allowing us to compete in a taijutsu clash.

He was all about brute force hits, his punches were slow, but he had enough power in them to shatter the ground. I weaved through his blows; with every attack he could toss out, I struck with a few of my own. His flailing had disappointed me greatly so I wanted to humiliate him.

I never struck vital spots, I aimed to damage the useful bits of his armour. I smashed the kunai ejectors, bent the nozzles on his arms and legs out of shape, and disabled all the joints.

His armour, once his trump card, was now just pointless weight dragging him down. "No! I can't lose! My armour can't break! It's indestructible!"

"No it's not." I pierced his armour, his torso, and out though the back of his armour with my hand. "See?"

His breath left him, his eyes glued to my arm sunk shoulder deep inside him. "My armour… the ultimate weapon…" he gurgled out.

I pulled myself from him, a wet squelch following me. He dropped to the ground on his knees. "And now it's the ultimate coffin. Aren't you lucky?"

I tossed his corpse over my shoulder and set off towards the burning camp. Pakura was probably finished too. Time to get paid.

* * *

As promised we made our way towards the famed hot springs of Hot Water upon payment for the corpse of Doto to the Daimyo.

Sensei was more relaxed than I'd ever seen her. Our inn was lavish, and our personal natural hot spring even more so. Scents, sake, servants, the works.

I however was having even more fun. Pakura had deemed my chakra control sub-par during my battle and had me back on suiton transformation training. Apparently I'd wasted too much time moulding the technique.

While she relaxed at the edge of the pool, I was made to stand in the middle. The water below my feet was saturated with my chakra and I had to swirl it around my body like a torrent. But to make it more of a challenge Pakura had heated up a bunch of rocks with her scorch chakra and made me stick them on myself. Having to balance the opposing natures made it a tall task.

Or it would have been if I weren't amazing. So, I took the opportunity to talk to sensei about our next steps in development. "All I'm saying is shape manipulation isn't enough. I think chakra flow is the way to go. Just look at the Raikage, man's a beast. I'm sure Tsunade used and adapted the principle for her strength - hell, even the eight gates are like an deranged, overpowered version of chakra flow."

"Oh sage Kimi! Just relax would you? We're on vacation. And you don't know nearly enough about any of those techniques to be making those random guesses." She brushed me off and rolled her head back.

"But Pakura-" before I could begin, she angrily interrupted me. How rude, it's like a man can't even pester his sensei anymore.

"If you're talking so much, clearly I'm taking it too easy on you. Haven't even mastered your nature transformation, and already going on about advanced chakra application. I want a _suijinheki_ circling you - opposite rotation from your feet. You want it hard, you got it buddy."

I'd thoroughly knocked her out of any good mood she was in.

She once more began complaining "Land of Hot Water my foot! More like Land of the ice bath. I have to do everything myself." Her chakra came pouring out, and suddenly the nice tranquil onsen was a kettle ready to boil over.

Now, maintaining the water wall jutsu on top of the chakra control wasn't too difficult. But the addition of the scalding water was proving to be quite a problem.

The water pouring from my mouth started sputtering, a high pitch whistle with every misstep in my control. Pakura was fuming, and my chakra coils were paying the price.

I was used to my chakra feeling like a raging river flowing through my system. Strong, fast, and flexible. Yet now a drought had hit the river. The heat from within my body, murdering any sweat.

The sputtering was increasing, the whistle was blowing louder. Something snapped and my chakra boiled over. I erupted like a geyser, steam billowed in searing hot clouds. Pakura leapt out as the spring evaporated of all water.

Pakura was astonished. "Well well. Looks like someone unlocked a boil release." She gingerly waved her hand through the billowing vapour, "hmm, not the real _Futton kekkei genkai_ though. I don't feel any acid burn of any sort. Kind of like the knock-off version of the _Hyoton_ really."

I stood at the bottom of a parched well spring. Steam continued to surge from me; white vapour slowly creating from my mouth. "This will do. Oh will this ever do." I was happy once more.

"Kimi… you really need to learn how to smile properly."

* * *

Current Timeline: 8 TC (Till Canon)

Kimimaro ~ 9 years old

Pakura ~ 19 years old

Naruto ~ 4 years old


	4. Skullduggery

**Chapter 4 - Skullduggery**

* * *

It was pretty late in the morning so the sunlight was getting quite harsh, especially the glare that bounced off the trembling bounty agent's sweaty scalp. As he blubbered his pointless excuses, all I wanted in that moment was to slap that shine right off his big bald head.

Pakura allowed herself a frustrated sigh and peeled me away from violating his personal space any further. "That's enough Kimimaro, you can't blame him for this. He doesn't issue the bounties."

Slinging her arm over my shoulder and around my neck, Pakura escorted us out of the 4th bounty office we'd unsuccessfully visited in half as many weeks. She had to reach a little higher than she was used to, my shoulders were getting taller than hers; so her days of using me as a convenient armrest were at their end.

"Tch. How are we meant to feed ourselves? With B-Rank payouts? I might as well fry rice with my tears because I won't be able to afford oil!"

"Says the man dressed in an embroidered lotus silk kimono. Nobles struggle to dress like you." Pakura caressed the exquisite fabric of my tailor-made top.

"Of course they can't afford it, they're too busy paying us to do their dirty work." Truthfully the lack of worthwhile, lucrative missions wasn't a real concern for the both of us. The last several years had been extremely profitable, and we'd built up a substantial nest egg. The boredom was becoming the greater concern. But, if the sloppily hidden bloodlust that had been following us for the last few hours was any indication, that would soon change.

Given the rapidly encroaching mist and the very particular song that metal cutting through air sang, the identity of our little stalker was obvious.

"Not them again." Pakura seemed to lose all energy, her head fell back and she released a bone-tired sigh into the sky even as the mist overtook us. This was far from our first encounter with the infamous Zabuza Momochi and Haku Yuki.

Kubikiribocho sliced it's way towards us. It was slow, an easy dodge. Instead, immovable object met very stoppable force when my hand met the blade. Ants can't move mountains after all.

Pakura's sweltering chakra flared briefly and she exhaled a heated breath. The mist evaporated， revealing Haku standing a distance away and Zabuza predictably perched on his favourite roost - his own sword. I ignored him.

"I'm glad you're not wearing a mask this time. Your face may very well be the only beautiful view left in water country."

"It is pleasant to see that you remain in good health as well Kimimaro." Haku approached us, he bowed slightly returning Pakura's lazy wave. "Pakura-sama."

"Always knew you wouldn't be raised right, not even enough manners for a proper greeting for an old friend." He hopped off irritatedly, simultaneously snatching away Kubikiribocho. I let him.

"I taught him long ago that barking at dogs will only get him fleas. He learnt well enough." Pakura rebutted.

"Don't be so harsh Pakura, at least Haku's gotten him wearing a muzzle." I pointed right at his bandaged face.

Zabuza slammed the sword down, plunging it deep into the ground. "It's not a muzzle! It's tactical shinobi wear."

"Tactical for what? Hiding your herpes?"

Haku immediately jumped to the rapidly enraging Zabuza's defense. "I assure you, Zabuza-sama has not contracted herpes. Though he has ailed from various other venereal diseases in the past, I have successfully treated all of them. The ladies at the bordellos have often shown me kindness, and bestowed their knowledge of many valuable remedies."

Pakura quickly lost any pretense of laziness at that - shooting the demon of the hidden mist a sneer that threatened to eviscerate him. "It's no secret you're complete scum, but I'd never thought you'd take kids to a brothel."

By the way he shrugged it was clear Zabuza held no concern over her judgement. "The girls are sweet on Haku. I give them their little toy, and I get my own playtime too. Win-win deal for me."

Anticipating the poor response from our previous encounters, Haku, serenely as ever, jumped in with a mollifying explanation. "I am undeserving of your worry Pakura-sama. Much like yourself, the women have only ever treated me exceedingly well. Nothing untoward. Beyond medical care, they have even taken their precious time to teach me everything a growing young lady must know."

My sensei could only cover her face in her hands at that response. "You're a boy Haku."

"Indeed I am." Haku's grooming habits were becoming much clearer.

"Well, I think it's a good idea. There's lots of pervs slithering around these parts; when you're as pretty as Haku you're better off with that knowledge than not."

"And would you be one of them, Kimimaro?" Haku tended to be a lot less formal with me.

"No. But I am getting pretty wealthy - so who knows?"

"That's enough!" I received a smack on the back of my head courtesy of sensei. "Momochi, you better tell me why you were following us before I decide I've had enough of you and sun-dry your tomatoes."

"Fine, fine." He reached into a pocket, pulled out a scroll and tossed it over. "You ever heard of Mei Terumi?" I opened the scroll, all that it contained was a sole seal. A reverse summoning. Pakura nodded at Zabuza to continue as I looked over the scroll. "So, her and her little rebel squad are running some big op against Yagura soon and they need a few more hands on deck."

"Dropping bounties to become a messenger now?"

"Not a damn chance. I will admit bounties are beneath me now though. The way I see it, if Terumi is having enough troubles with her revolution that she's seeking out thugs like me, she's clearly not ready for leadership. I'll meet up with her sure, but I'll crack a few skulls and have her and her entire army behind me."

"Well, it seems like you have it all figured out there, Mizukage Momochi." I tossed the scroll back. "Don't see how we're involved."

"Figured you two could hop on the wagon before it gets going. You're both strong enough to be part of my shinobi force - and who knows what kind of a bumbling, backwater buffoonery Terumi's running; I can't rely on that. Besides, I know you weren't able to get any worthwhile missions. Some greedy little merc group's been snatching all the good jobs for weeks."

The offer was ridiculous. But the opportunity it presented was an enticing one. Pakura knew me well enough to know I was thinking our options through, and chose to let me take the lead on the decision. And in all honesty, one thing Zabuza did get right was that we really didn't have anything else to do; a war seemed like a fairly pragmatic situation to test ourselves as well - no point letting our rigorous training go to waste after all. I glanced at Pakura to gauge her impression. Tight lips, but no real fire in her eyes - reluctant but ultimately indifferent either way. Looks like it's time for some guerilla warfare. "Alright, let's go see you become Mizukage." An obvious lie, but he didn't need to know that.

"That's what I like to hear!" Zabuza spread open the scroll and Haku began going through a set of seals on one hand. "You make a demon happy enough to wanna kiss you."

"No thanks, I'm good without the herpes." And with that we poofed away with the reverse summons.

* * *

A nondescript Mist rebel rushed into Mei Terumi's command tent. She along with Ao and a handful of other shinobi were poring over a map. "Mei-sama, Zabuza Momochi has arrived."

Mei continued to hover over her position. "I'll be there later. Keep him with the others."

"He has brought two unknowns with him ma'am."

Immediately they perked up, Zabuza and the Yuki were meant to come quietly and alone. Ao quickly expanded his Byakugan and was startled to see the massive chakra signatures next to the swordsman. Mei didn't need to be told to know there was something wrong; she rushed out with Ao following closely behind.

"Terumi! Get out here, I'm here for my-" _beating_ would have been appropriate, considering the fist that met his face - which in turn met the ground.

"What is the meaning of this Zabuza? Do you not understand the meaning of covert ops? We're trying to weaken Yagura, and you bring strangers - potential spies, into my center of operations? Are you completely out of your mind?" As Zabuza dealt with her tirade and an incoming concussion, Pakura and I dealt with a circle of kunai pointed out our throats.

Given her tumultuous history with Mist shinobi, Pakura certainly did not appreciate the hostility directed at her. Her chakra spiked and the closest kunai started melting. "You better back away from me unless you want to be burnt to ash!"

"We're both bloodline users if that helps any." I began in an effort to salvage the situation. "See?" I removed my top and let it fall at my waist to show off the shikotsumyaku, but instantly found myself receiving acupuncture from several jumpy shinobi. Couldn't really blame them, it was an active warzone.

Slowly, bone spikes protruded from underneath my skin, pushing out the embedded kunai from their tips. Surprisingly, that freakshow managed to placate the surrounding army slightly. Ninja were weird.

"A Kaguya… Ao?" Mei stepped away from Zabuza and cautiously approached me. Ao's Byakugan was working full time scanning us for _som_ e _thing_ in particular. Deciding to be helpful, I loosened the tap on my chakra a little too. A sharp crack signaled the ground under my feet shattering.

The Byakugan wielder jumped slightly and _tsked_ in annoyance. "Insufferable brat. They're clean though." He nodded at Mei.

She waved away the crowd and focused in on Pakura, Haku, and I. "You three follow me. I'll interrogate you myself, I need to know how two bloodline users just appeared on my doorstep." She turned around and beckoned us, I expected a much longer mane of hair than I saw. "And someone get that idiot to the med bay. I'll have words with him later."

* * *

Current Timeline: <2 TC (Till Canon)

Kimimaro ~ 16 years old

Pakura ~ 26 years old

Naruto ~ 11 years old


End file.
